Category: Thick as a Plank

OFFENSE

I’m offended every time the powers that be raze a statue because someone complained that it ‘offended’ them.

The latest outrage? This Confederate memorial in Arlington -one of two, actually- had to come down. Why?

The Congressional mandate, passed in 2020, declared that the Department of Defense must remove all “names, symbols, displays, monuments, and paraphernalia that honor or commemorate the Confederate States of America” by Jan. 1, 2024.

Fox

Do you know who does this? The Taliban. Nazi Germany. Hamas. Not Americans. Well, not until now. We should be ashamed.

As President Lincoln stated: “Malice toward none and charity for all. North and South, we are all Americans again.”

Guess not.

Oh, dear. I was supposed to stay with dogs and flowers.
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Big bada Boom

I hate fireworks. Not a city or county’s organized exhibitions – or even a rock star’s pyrotechnics – but the absurd dynamiting done by my neighbors.

If annihilation is their ultimate goal, the idiots made a good start last night. My house shook several times.

The noises used to be fireworks, sparklers for the kids, things of that nature.. and even some gunfire. I’d like to tell them that what goes up ultimately comes down…

The exceptionally loud noises had nothing to do with pretty lights in the sky. I cannot understand why they favor them… as they probably would never understand my viewpoint.

My stance? I was huddled in bed with two terrified dogs (Daisy has never cared – until last night) and a Navy veteran who thought the sounds were very much like being depth charged by a Russian sub.

I am not fucking amused.

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Re-Bound

Though I feel 25 and act my shoe size, the actual digits are 65. There it is, the secret again: old people are simply young people in crappy bodies.

It’s incredibly difficult to remember my age when making purchases. For instance, I saw a small, indoor trampoline (they call them ‘rebounders’ now) being used on YouTube and HAD to have one.

When my superior specimen arrived… well, my husband had a small coronary. You see, he knows me. We’ve been together for quite some time and in his mind I’d go re-bounding off that thing and into a wood chipper. Yes, that was my plan all along.

NOT. For goodness sake’s I think I can avoid wood chippers. And the glass closet doors. Yes, old house. 😉

So after a week of first class avoidance, he put it together for me. Under protest. Muttering things like “we need to update our wills”.

Y’all, it’s SO MUCH FUN!!! I was twisty bouncing and leg up/leg down bouncing and just convinced this thing would be the best addition to my work out routine ever!!!

I have three herniated discs.

Oh, I know what to do for them… the cervical hanger/inversion table/Advil season is in full swing and I’m guessing the little rebounder will be given to one of the kids or grandkids. Which is a shame; it really is fun…

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Year

“Make yourselves sheep and the wolves will eat you.”

Benjamin Franklin

It’s been a year since “15 Days to Stop the Spread”.

I’m one of the lucky ones. Unlike many people who lost their homes and businesses my life hasn’t changed all that much. I still lounge around the place with the Man (who works from home), the only difference being my groceries are usually delivered. Oh, I’ve been to the store, which is packed by the way. Last week I noticed the ‘One Way’ strips are gone. They’re getting back to normal except for the ubiquitous masks. Too bad many other businesses aren’t as lucky.

Take, for instance, outpatient procedures. Not a hospital. They wouldn’t even allow me in the building, let alone in the room with Mike before and after he underwent a colonoscopy, which has been the norm in the past. Next month another procedure and another “wait in the car”.

Guess masks and distancing don’t work.

Continue reading “Year” →
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dropping this here…

You know who you are! The gobshites who bought up all the bog roll… Why? So no else could wipe their bums? So now Amazon is doing a bang up business on bidets. It would be funny if it weren’t so fecking pathetic.

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