Personal

In Hiding

childSo, here’s a thing.

My biological siblings (paternal) found me. (I was adopted at birth, which isn’t a thing.)

After getting the cold shoulder from my maternal half-sister, this was good news. I was excited. They were excited. We exchanged some info and I’ve spoken to the oldest sister on the phone twice.  After that I wanted to fade into the wallpaper.

Don’t get me wrong, they’re very nice, open people who could have just ignored the DNA results. Instead, they said “Hey, we have a new sister!”

I’m sandwiched in between two brothers. One born barely a year before me, one a year after. Logically, I knew it had nothing to do with me, but I was so embarrassed and ashamed.  That bastard! I know he was in the Navy, but damn.

Add to that all the siblings are highly educated with great careers. Accomplished people. And I’m… well, I’ve done nothing, I’ve made nothing and I am nothing. That’s what keeps cycling through my head, over and over….

Just to add… Oldest sister asked what I do all day and I was stumped. I fritter. Laze. Loll. I am one of life’s lollopers.

So I would like to hide, yes and thank you very much to you. All in all, it’s been a gigantic mindbender.

Yes, I need a Miranda fix.

 

 

 

7 thoughts on “In Hiding”

  1. You write, you’ve raised dogs, you’ve worked hard to help with YsD’s family. That’s not nothing. And college education means jack shit. Don’t let anyone else’s priorities change how you feel about yourself or the life you’ve built for yourself and your family. Don’t diminish where you are at this moment! You’ve earned a right to live as you damn well please.

    Don’t let me catch you talking shit about yourself ever again! I adore who you are! (Note: I understand these feelings and I get how you’re working through them but I refuse to let you talk about my friend this way!)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. HEY! Don’t talk about my friend that way! – but I am nothing too – I remind myself of that all the time. I loll about too – no formal education either – no career – no value – just me. All I do is spend Batman’s money.

    Liked by 1 person

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