I have now officially been probed in every orifice.
Most bloggers wouldn’t write about something so personal… and maybe I shouldn’t… but the cystoscopy wasn’t exactly how I’d read and/or thought it would be – either it was much worse or I’m just a big wimp.
The nurse swabbed everything in sight with iodine, saying “sorry” after my gasp. I asked if she’d undergone this particular procedure, and she said “No, but it’s not a big deal; very easy”.
The thing didn’t take long, once the doctor arrived. I was already in the modified stirrups, had ‘violin features’ selected on Pandora and the room was full of relaxing music even if I was so tense you could have played Dixie on my leg muscles. But it helped.
The doctor, who I absolutely loved before this experience, brandished a six foot metal wand, which must have recently been removed from a hot stack of coals, and inserted it into my urethra and subsequently, bladder. Then she said “that was the worst part” and I thought “it better be, because if it gets any worse I might throw up”.
I could have lived a long and happy life without the experience of watching my bladder on TV.
The good news is that the bladder is lovely, the kidneys are in great shape and I’m just one of the 20% who pisses blood. Let me tell you, I don’t care anymore. It hurts so bad to pee right now the only way I’ll be having another cystoscopy is if Mike drugs me to get me there.
As I limped out -because walking hurt too!- I sadistically remarked to the nurse who had prepped me: “You’re missing out; you should really experience one of those.” She somewhat emphatically replied “NO thank you!”
Don’t try to kid a kidder.
Was going to Publix, now think the sofa is a better idea.
Didn’t have my camera but tried the iPhone on the humungous banana spider. Didn’t really work, but oh, well.

Burnout, even on a dark, rainy day? I’m thinking Apple didn’t take the sun into account…
April 17, 2012
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