Before you press play, let us warn you that this video is very NSFW…in a very peculiar way. It involves famed actress Isabella Rossellini dressed up as a female duck, being propositioned (forcibly at one point) for mating by paper ducks. I said it was peculiar, didn’t I? It’s part of Rossellini’s Sundance Channel series Green Porno.

Of course, I had to see it.

‘Corkscrew penises’. Now there’s a phrase you don’t hear every day. Good grief, what is she thinking? Oh, right… it’s Sundance. Eye of the beholder, that sort of thing.

Still.

Via The Mary Sue

He’s done it before and he’ll probably do it again, but if people could only see how he trained these horses, this animal would be out of a job for good…

Tennessee Walking Horse trainer Jackie McConnell and two of his associates, John Mays, and Joseph Abernathy, pleaded guilty today to conspiring to violate the Horse Protection Act. McConnell’s plea deal will keep him out of prison.

The pleas come less than a week after Nightline aired graphic undercover video of McConnell deliberately causing pain to horses in the name of winning ribbons. The footage is what helped land the 52-count federal indictment against McConnell and the three other men.

via Rate My Horse PRO

That man needs what he’s done to the horses done to him.

McConnell could have faced up to five years in prison and a hefty $250,000 fine, but as a part of the plea agreement prosecutors are recommending that he receive probation.

Unbelievable.

I finally saw Doctor Zhivago. After all this time, the epic love story! Only, I thought Zhivago was a putz. When he wasn’t cheating on his wife and children he was standing around with tears in his eyes. Oh, the fragile poet! It was all so English Patient.

Yes, it was a horrible time in Russia, what with WWI, the revolution and ensuing civil war. Unspeakable things occurred, which I guess gives folks license to act accordingly.

The upshot was that Lara, the vapid ‘slut’ and Yuri, the vacillating doctor, really were perfect for each other.

I thought the most interesting characters were those on the sidelines; Yuri’s half brother Yevgraf, Victor the corrupt despoiler and Pasha, who becomes someone else entirely.

It irritated me from beginning to end, which made me wonder about myself… because, doesn’t everyone love this movie?

He’s carrying around something that looks like a kernel of corn but is otherwise pretty cute.

Joe was out and about early this morning, pulling his little cart full of cuttings from obliging neighbors. He hailed me from across the hedge with ‘Do you want some cuttings?’ and I answered ‘Do you want to harvest some tomatoes?’. Guess we’ve fallen into a form of gardening Esperanto.

I’ve two itty bitty red maters on the kitchen counter but can’t bring myself to eat them. It feels like cannibalism, which is not only silly but impossible. So Joe’s appearance was fortuitous in more ways than one.

He said that these are ‘like caladiums’. Looking at this image, I better go back out and make sure the one on the right is actually planted.

This is a garlic grass like wild onions. Didn’t know such a thing existed, but breaking one certainly smells pungently of garlic. How one would use this in cooking…? (Please disregard the dark rocks.)

I think these are petunias.

And something old… Bougainvillea blooms.

Ted Nugent’s advice to this year’s graduates…

NUGENT: Six rules to gain American Dream
 
Tens of thousands of young people will soon toss their graduation caps into the air and begin their pursuit of their own unique American Dream. That’s cause for grand celebration.

Though I’m not a college graduate, I did graduate from the School of Hard Rock and Knocks and Common Sense some 50 years ago. With my trusty Gibson Byrdland guitar and a wall of amplifiers, I hit the road and received a Magnum-Cum-Very Loud Degree in logic, work ethic, pragmatism and pure animal tenacity.

As your not-so-humble Motor City Madman, I’d like to offer a few words to these new college graduates – words that no tenured professor ensconced in an ivory tower could possibly have taught.

Rule No. 1: Success has nothing to do with money. Nothing. Success is the unrelenting, dogged persistence to be the absolute best you can be at your chosen profession. Good is never good enough. Money always comes looking for the very best. Burn that into your psyche.

Rule No. 2:There are no guarantees and there never have been. The only guarantee is the gratification that comes from relentless effort, hard work and sacrifice, and even that is difficult to lasso in this tight job market. May I recommend following the U.S. Marine Corps mantra that has served all successful Americans forever: Improvise, adapt and overcome.

In this world of instant gratification, be prepared to be shocked that success is not easy, cheap or quickly. The opposite is true. The road to success is a very steep uphill path strewn with stride-breaking obstacles, and it always has been. Only mountain climbers climb mountains.

Read the entire article at The Washington Times

Very refreshing, considering the types of television programs popular right now; instant money, instant fame, instant dream culmination! Real life just doesn’t work that way…

It’s gray, humid, raining even when it’s really not. And it feels like I’ll never see the sun again. Don’t think I’d make it in those dark-for-months locales.