The scene is set: four Cinderellas cluster round the Queen’s deathbed.
They’re doing a push/pull with mortality; wanting Mom out of pain yet willing her alive, not ready to let the cancer win. Since the doctor’s opinion was an hour two days ago, no one wants to leave. Although her body is shutting down and blood has ceased flowing to some of her limbs, the tough old broad tenaciously hangs onto life, especially when a new face appears to say goodbye or a drape is pulled open, spilling sunlight into the dark sickroom. Death, apparently, is best met in the dark.
A random hospice nurse enters and bids the drapes be closed, the voices silenced and hands stilled. “She won’t go with all the stimulation” says she who should know.
Should I hate this woman, who has her patient’s best interests at heart? Whose job it is to comfort? Probably not.
Hospice only makes comfortable, they do not nourish via IV. Mom has not eaten for days and the princesses’ frayed nerves lead to harsh words and hurt feelings among the four. Meanwhile, life and death fights a battle before them like a grotesque passion play. She can no longer speak or hear, but the woman will go when she and her maker decide and not before, sunlight and chatter be damned.
I was gratified to hear that last rites were administered yesterday.
May Christ Who was crucified for your sake
free you from excruciating pain.
May Christ Who died for you
free you from the death that never ends.
May Christ the Son of the living God,
set you in the ever green loveliness of His Paradise,
and may He, the true Shepherd
recognize you as one of His own.
May you see your Redeemer face to face
and standing in His presence forever,
may you see with joyful eyes
Truth revealed in all its fullness.Amen.
She may not go with everyone there. I know a lot of people who say their loved ones wouldn’t let go until everyone was out of the room for some reason or another.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Did not know that… how odd!
Thanks for the prayers, M!
Never easy to say good-bye and for some, it’s just downright impossible. But as QW said, I’ve heard many times that once the room was empty and everyone gone that it was over in the blink of an eye. If you could get someone to convince the quivering to go get a cup of coffe, bet she’d be able to let go and embrace Home. Whisper it in her ear, she still hears you…she’s just ignoring the morbid.
Sending you and Mike hugs at this challenging time. Love you…
Thanks so much, Lee Ann!
It really is astounding to hear that they slip away when alone… I don’t know the last time she was left to herself; guess they don’t want her to go alone.
Love you!
She’ll go when she’s ready regardless of who is there or not there.
Yeah, ‘any moment’ will be when she’s damned good and ready.
I learned that sometimes it’s better NOT to give fluids at this stage of the game as they would just swamp her lungs. Good to know.
Such a sorrowful time…may the family learn to accept the need for the dying to find peace.
Most Merciful Jesus,
lover of souls,
I pray You,
by the agony of Your most Sacred Heart,
and by the sorrows of Your Immaculate Mother,
to wash in Your Most Precious Blood,
the sinners of the world who are now in their agony,
and who will die today.
Heart of Jesus,
once in agony,
have mercy on the dying.
Amen.
Thanks so much, Mrs. Who.
This has always been one of my favorites:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPw9ENWhs8c
Look out of any window
any morning, any evening, any day
Maybe the sun is shining
birds are winging or
rain is falling from a heavy sky -
What do you want me to do,
to do for you to see you through?
this is all a dream we dreamed
one afternoon long ago
Walk out of any doorway
feel your way, feel your way
like the day before
Maybe you’ll find direction
around some corner
where it’s been waiting to meet you -
What do you want me to do,
to watch for you while you’re sleeping?
Well please don’t be surprised
when you find me dreaming too
Look into any eyes
you find by you, you can see
clear through to another day
I know it’s been seen before
through other eyes on other days
while going home –
What do you want me to do,
to do for you to see you through?
It’s all a dream we dreamed
one afternoon long ago
Walk into splintered sunlight
Inch your way through dead dreams
to another land
Maybe you’re tired and broken
Your tongue is twisted
with words half spoken
and thoughts unclear
What do you want me to do
to do for you to see you through
A a box of rain will ease the pain
and love will see you through
Just a box of rain -
wind and water -
Believe it if you need it,
if you don’t just pass it on
Sun and shower -
Wind and rain -
in and out the window
like a moth before a flame
It’s just a box of rain
I don’t know who put it there
Believe it if you need it
or leave it if you dare
But it’s just a box of rain
or a ribbon for your hair
Such a long long time to be gone
and a short time to be there
That’s lovely, thanks!