I have now officially been probed in every orifice.
Most bloggers wouldn’t write about something so personal… and maybe I shouldn’t… but the cystoscopy wasn’t exactly how I’d read and/or thought it would be – either it was much worse or I’m just a big wimp.
The nurse swabbed everything in sight with iodine, saying “sorry” after my gasp. I asked if she’d undergone this particular procedure, and she said “No, but it’s not a big deal; very easy”.
The thing didn’t take long, once the doctor arrived. I was already in the modified stirrups, had ‘violin features’ selected on Pandora and the room was full of relaxing music even if I was so tense you could have played Dixie on my leg muscles. But it helped.
The doctor, who I absolutely loved before this experience, brandished a six foot metal wand, which must have recently been removed from a hot stack of coals, and inserted it into my urethra and subsequently, bladder. Then she said “that was the worst part” and I thought “it better be, because if it gets any worse I might throw up”.
I could have lived a long and happy life without the experience of watching my bladder on TV.
The good news is that the bladder is lovely, the kidneys are in great shape and I’m just one of the 20% who pisses blood. Let me tell you, I don’t care anymore. It hurts so bad to pee right now the only way I’ll be having another cystoscopy is if Mike drugs me to get me there.
As I limped out -because walking hurt too!- I sadistically remarked to the nurse who had prepped me: “You’re missing out; you should really experience one of those.” She somewhat emphatically replied “NO thank you!”
Don’t try to kid a kidder.
Was going to Publix, now think the sofa is a better idea.
Didn’t have my camera but tried the iPhone on the humungous banana spider. Didn’t really work, but oh, well.
Burnout, even on a dark, rainy day? I’m thinking Apple didn’t take the sun into account…
28. June 2011 at 4:11 pm
Oh, you poor thing! *leaves chocolate and champagne*
28. June 2011 at 5:06 pm
Thank you so much! [blubbering]
I’m starting on the champagne now; it’s 5:05!
28. June 2011 at 6:26 pm
Good God woman! is nothing sacred? Tell that man of yours you need some Blue Bell. STAT!
At least that is out of the way and
hooray nothing serious is wrong 
Now the question is, are you feeling well (today’s misery excepted)?
28. June 2011 at 6:50 pm
I’m ordering pizza, but Blue Bell is on the menu.
Other than today I’ve been feeling absolutely fantastic! I’m up to 45 minutes a day on the treadmill [2.2 miles] and still feeling awesome enough to do some resistance. The thyroid meds have helped, I’m sure.
Yes, thank God nothing is wrong with my urinary tract!
28. June 2011 at 7:04 pm
The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie and Mom Sharon
28. June 2011 at 8:35 pm
Thanks y’all!
Wine and pizza are going a loooong way to that end.
29. June 2011 at 1:37 am
You should bill the doctor’s office for all the food, alcohol, and ice cream. After all, they should owe YOU for getting so familiar with your personal bits.
At least it wasn’t the TSA doing the probing. 
29. June 2011 at 4:07 am
I like that, Dave!
29. June 2011 at 5:04 am
Eek! And here I’ve been feeling sorry for myself about some physical therapy. Here’s hopin’ you wake up able to eat spikes and poop thumbtacks.
See that brown thing, there? Yeah, right over there in your E-mail inbox> I just E-mailed you the ears from the Russel Stover Chocolate bunny, the last of the day after Easter stash.
29. June 2011 at 5:09 am
Aw, Peter! You are too good to me! Bunny ears are a wonderful gift, thanks!
29. June 2011 at 5:10 am
…but if I’m every able to poop thumbtacks, you’ll see me on TV!
29. June 2011 at 6:13 am
*hugs* had a stint pulled out in the docs office and never felt so much pain in my life. They thought I was over reacting. Hope you get some rest and feel better soon. It really does not feel good.
29. June 2011 at 6:16 am
Thanks, VW! I believe you, trust me!
29. June 2011 at 8:00 am
when Miranda was a newborn (yes, NEWBORN), she had to have a cystoscopy, too. I cried as much as she did I think. Then, after Spenser was born, I had to have one. I cried then, too. I just want to give you a big hug and pamper you for a week.
29. June 2011 at 8:06 am
You’re so sweet, Joanie, thanks!
29. June 2011 at 9:15 pm
Ewwwww. And I thought cryotherapy in the nether parts was bad.
30. June 2011 at 7:54 am
Well, it doesn’t sound like a walk in the park, either.
30. June 2011 at 7:06 pm
Glad everything is okay! Sorry things here very hectic Dad got into a finder bender I think they will take his DL away which will be good that way I am not the bad guy. He has no concept of reality after this happens he asks if he can drive Wes’s auto’s
I say no dad! This is hard on him I know but been coming. Glad you are feeling better! 
30. June 2011 at 7:38 pm
Oh, no! Sounds like he walked away unscathed, which is great!
Mike’s mom is turning 85 this August and the kids are trying to wrestle her license away… but it’s hard on everyone concerned. It’s time. Past time, actually.
Thanks!
Hope you’re feeling better as well!! 