It’s a well known fact that some people are good at one or more types of activities while others suffer inadequate talent in that area. I know people who can do complicated equations in their heads while my brain can barely pick out a solution to 5 + 5. It’s embarrassing… but I’m used to the math inadequacies. What I’m not used to is the increasing fail rate in matters of common sense and logic. My problem solving skills are falling away with the speed of light.
Witness the case of the Cuisinart. With great anticipation, I purchased the Pro Classic food processor last July. Unfortunately there was a learning curve that prevented last minute meal prep help, so it just sat on my kitchen counter, waiting.
It remains untested, but not for lack of trying.
The first time the machine and I met on the field of battle, I admit to being unprepared. Still… you’d think I could do something as simple as put the bowl on properly, right? No, after a prolonged struggle I needed hubby to tell me -after a 5 second glance- how it worked. Humiliation abounded.
Our second encounter occurred last night. I had some time and needed a slew of potatoes sliced. Should have known there would be trouble when my gaze landed on the damnable machination, sitting so white and clean. Untouched. Nothing that pure and shiny could come to any good in my kitchen.
This time it took about thirty minutes of playing before I finally gave up and sliced the taters myself. They’d been in the oven for an hour when hubby returned home from work, but I knew I had to ask him about it… and when he pinpointed the problem in a few moments, I felt that all too familiar mortification. He has the gene… that man can fix anything, solve any problem. Fortunately he never makes fun of my gross incompetence.
Putting whipped topping on my serving of humble pie, I remembered reading in the manual that larger veggies would have to go in ‘backwards’.
If I hadn’t paid a hundred dollars for that thing I’d take it out into the Everglades and use it for target practice. If I could remember how to use my gun.
5. January 2010 at 5:42 pm
Then all you have to do is wait to use it until you can have Arthur on hand to answer your questions. Once you figure it out, it will be simple to remember… it’s the figuring out that’s the hard part.
5. January 2010 at 6:24 pm
Yep! Poor Arthur…:rofl:
5. January 2010 at 7:36 pm
Loved the story because I can relate. I have been wanting one of the food processors for a year now but have not gotten one because I am afraid I could not use it. So I use my small one that fits on the blender. If you can use a blender you can use this one. With all the mixed drinks we used to make I can handle the blender!
6. January 2010 at 7:18 am
Ha! I really envied that humongous Kitchen Aid mixer you got some years back… but just knew I’d never be able to keep up with all the parts… and figure out what went where, when. Same thing with the Cuisinart… I should have remembered the dang mixer and let it pass on by….
5. January 2010 at 8:30 pm
*rub, rub, rub*
I am the one in the family that everyone turns to, to figure out how to use things and set their dvd clocks.
6. January 2010 at 7:19 am
I bet! You’re another Arthur. I don’t have the slightest inkling how your minds work, but I applaud you for them!
5. January 2010 at 9:21 pm
Wally World’s gas stations charge three cents a gallon less for gas using their credit cards or a gift card so I always buy a gift card for buying gas. We had some extra driving to do so I was going to buy so much extra gas at about $2.40 a gallon. So I was trying to figure the gift card I needed and could not hardly do the arithmetic in my head. Before the stroke I could do that effortlessly.
So, Pam, Like Clinton, I feel your pain.
6. January 2010 at 7:20 am
Hmmm…. have I had a stroke? Nah, I’ve never been mechanical.
That must be frustrating, Peter.
6. January 2010 at 12:26 am
Sounds like Artie just got another job: chief Cuisinart operator!
Look at it this way, Pam. He does the actual labor, you reap the rewards.
C’mon, that’s awesome.
Of course, it makes the Cuisinart sound like a member of the Democratic party…
6. January 2010 at 7:21 am
6. January 2010 at 1:31 am
Backwards? I think I might be missing something. How do you know a potato’s ass from it’s forehead? (Unless, of course, it’s Mr. Potatohead… he wears a hat, so it’s pretty easy to tell.)
6. January 2010 at 7:23 am
Jana… you know what I mean… putting them in the ‘chute’ [as if the processor could be in a rodeo!] then fixing the chute to the top. Easy peasy.
6. January 2010 at 9:05 am
Oh. I guess I shouldn’t comment while under the influence.
6. January 2010 at 9:36 am
Hey, I laughed at Mr. Potatohead!
7. January 2010 at 10:37 am
The forehead has the eyes
bwhahahahahahha
I crack myself up
7. January 2010 at 10:42 am
6. January 2010 at 5:22 am
Cuisinarts are like Hobart mixers. They look great on the counter in the kitchen, and even better on the garage sale table. And best in someone else’s car the day of the garage sale…
6. January 2010 at 7:25 am
…that sounds like most of the stuff my MIL gives us…
But no, really… if I can get it to work *for me* it will be indispensable!
6. January 2010 at 11:55 am
Just line up what you want “cusinarted” and make Arthur do it… Everyone has their gifts. If he is the cuisinart pro, that’s fine… you’ve got other better talents, I’m sure.
xo
LBC
6. January 2010 at 11:59 am
Awww… thanks, LB. Wonder what those might be…?
6. January 2010 at 12:20 pm
CuisinArthur hee hee
6. January 2010 at 1:22 pm
OMG, I didn’t even notice that!
6. January 2010 at 12:43 pm
I have the JIHAD Gene!!! Capable of destroying any infidellic product from Cuisinart!!! I will kill your potatoes for this insult to wannabe Julia Child’s everywhere!!! From your globally warmed cities like Chicago, Omaha, and Atlanta… to the world’s paradise known as Yemen…I AM THERE!!! Tell your Al Gore I have explosives in my shorts, a passport like Joan Rivers, and a hard-on the size of Janet Napolitano!!! Food channel, my ass!!! May Allah have mercy on George Foreman!!!
(Think I had too much coffee)
6. January 2010 at 1:23 pm
Great Reader, this screed is one of your best; had me ROLLING!
[Drink some more coffee!
]
6. January 2010 at 2:53 pm
Yes, Gene, please do drink more coffee and come visit me! I need to laugh like this more often.
And Patti and LB got exactly what I meant, though Patti was obviously much smarter than I and made the full connection.
Sigh. More cough syrup, please.
6. January 2010 at 5:14 pm
Well, Patti and LB are smarter than I…